Leaving On 30-Day Solo Retreat

https://youtu.be/yhfeLiuG_wo

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the time has come for me to take a break from actualised org and in this video I want to explain why that is and how this is going to work so basically I've been releasing videos pretty much non-stop now for about five years since 2013 and releasing videos every single week is pretty grueling and pretty exhausting I did pause for one month last May where I did a 30-day meditation retreat and that's basically what I'm doing again this time right now so that's the plan is to do a 30-day u meditation retreat and then come back and reassess things and see how it is so the reason that I'm doing this in and the reason I'm sort of slowing down my releases with videos you might have noticed is because yeah keeping up with this schedule is quite challenging especially because the videos are becoming more complex more nuanced I have to be more careful with the advice that I give because as I become more conscious and more knowledgeable I realize how how tricky giving advice is and my advice needs to become more nuanced and more careful and so it takes a lot of time to study and to research all this stuff every single week and that interferes with my own personal ability to grow myself so running actualize that org is a very delicate balancing act balancing between doing research reading formulating ideas which is all very conceptual puts me a lot in my in my mind and then also at the same time going deep into myself doing consciousness work doing inner work meditating contemplating doing all the sorts of stuff and actually working to embody the stuff that I talked about now a lot of people don't understand is that these are two totally distinct things just because I'm doing the talking part and the reading part in the researching part in presenting nice episodes for you I can do all of that and completely neglect my own in her work conversely I could just focus entirely on my inner work and not release any stuff for the public for public consumption and so these are two totally separate things and this this needs to be really understood because it's really easy to just talk stuff but then to not actually actualize it for yourself and for me to really now actualize the stuff that I talked about because we're getting it's more advanced territory with the topics that I talk about I require more time in solitude to just contemplate and meditate and really work to embody this stuff which I've been doing so it's not like I've been completely neglecting this part I've been doing it all along but it's just that I need to go deeper and lately over the last year I've been feeling more and more that I need to take serious time off at least a month maybe even a whole year and just really go in wordly and focus on mastering various things that I've shared with you so that I could continue to share better insights in the future so that's what these next 30 days for me are gonna be about it's going to be about taking what I did in May but going much further in May I did only 15 days of the full 30 days that I wanted to do it was very very challenging and so what's changed now well again I don't know how long I'm gonna last my intent is to go for 30 days straight it's gonna be a silent retreat just by myself totally solo not under anyone's guidance meditating and contemplating and basically just observing myself observing my own emotional reactions and so forth hopefully aiming towards a pretty big awakening experience which I think I'm overdue for now the difference is that over the last nine or ten months since last May up to today I've had a significant increases in my baseline level of consciousness I experienced you know growth just from those 15 days in May and after the after that retreats I released a lot of very deep content deep videos and with doing Kriya yoga and with doing my brain training practices and with meditation and with self inquiry I've had breakthroughs and in all these practices my my monkey mind has quieted down a lot mm-hmm I've also been working on improving my health and my diet and doing some detox removing heavy metals from my body and from my brain detoxing that I'm still going through that process right now so a lot of a lot of change and growth has occurred within me since May and all I want to do is I just want to take it much deeper and for that I just need time by myself to really go into it and so that's what's gonna be happening here in the future I will be back but in the future the releases that I do they're probably gonna be slower it may not be weekly releases maybe it'll be bi-weekly or maybe it will be weekly I don't know we'll see but but yeah the releases will will will be less consistent probably because what I'm noticing is that I care less about the consistency these days I care less about the quantity of material that I release I care more about the quality and I care more about doing original research and putting out groundbreaking stuff that really moves mankind forward and so for that I just need more time to research it and also to make sure that the quality is there so that's that's really all this going on and I also need more time to myself also you know with the way that YouTube works there's a big pressure when you're launching a YouTube channel to be very consistent with your work and pretty much I've I've tried to do that for the last five years I was quite consistent missed missed a week here there sometimes but mostly quite consistent and that was necessary to get actualized I rigged up and running to build a big audience big subscriber base but at this point I'm at the point where I don't really care so much about that I cared before about my own spiritual development and then my ability to be a better teacher rather than just keep pumping out content on a on a weekly basis just for the sake of pleasing some YouTube audience or some YouTube algorithm or whatever else so um so yes I'm kind of outgrowing that to a certain degree I'm really outgrowing the need for for having an audience the need for getting subscribers the need for having lots of views and clicks of course these are all nice things success is nice I still like success but but also I mean part of growing up part of waking up is overcoming your materialistic desires and the holy illusion of material success whether it's sex or money or views or clicks or subscriber counts or whatever else you basically outgrow it because you realize that it doesn't actually make you happy no matter how much you get I could have five million subscribers and millions of views but what like is it really gonna do anything for me no it's not the real value is in going deeper into the work so I feel like I'm just this is all kind of natural it's you just feel like an all a natural evolutionary curve that I'm I'm going through and so I will be beginning this 30-day meditation retreat I plan us to last all thirty days without breaking or cracking without turning to the TV or to internet or to chatting with friends or any of that kind of stuff so that's my goal you know but you never know what happens on these retreats they can be very very challenging and I expect this one to be challenging but I also feel like I'm more prepared for it than I was for the previous one because you know you always get experiences even when you fail doing something or you only seed halfway which is basically what happened last time you see you learn a lot from those failures you learn about your own weaknesses and then the practices you do after the practices that I've been doing for the last ten months those have all been kind of building me up and preparing me to now succeed on this on this next one and that will be pretty exciting to see what do I plan to be doing doing these during these 30 days I'm not gonna be talking to any humans I'm not going to be on the Internet I'm not gonna be engaged any kind of media I'm not gonna be reading any books or listening to any audio books so basically a complete digital disconnection I'm not gonna be doing any work so disconnection from work which is a big thing for me because I spend most of my time doing work mmm-hmm I'm not going to be coming up with new business ideas or new video ideas I'm gonna be focusing on just going deeply into myself and becoming more conscious that's the plan and what techniques will I be using to do this Kriya yoga I plan to be doing two sets of Kriya yoga every day so it's about an hour and a half total of that each set lasts me it takes me about 90 minutes so I don't know that's actually three hours yeah if every set is 90 minutes about three hours right there for two sets per day and then I'm going to be doing about three hours of brain training using my EEG brain training machine which is very effective for meditating so I'll be doing that so already that's what three hours plus five hours it's already eight hours right there of training and that's going to be a shitload but but also I'll just be doing mindfulness with labeling that technique that I've shared with you in the past I'll also be doing do nothing just sitting and basically doing nothing I'll also be doing some concentration practices just focusing on an object like a candle flame or a metronome or just some visual object in the room and I'll also be just contemplating various existential questions that I still have yet to answer and also observing my emotional reactions so some of the most tricky work within spirituality is to really be mindful and conscious of your emotions to deconstruct your entire emotional system so I'll be spending a lot of time doing that as well psychedelics may be I'm not sure yet if I want to do psychedelics psychedelics can be quite disruptive of your meditation if you're doing a solid retreat on the other hand thirty days is a lot of time so to meditate for 30 days straight is it's quite a lot so maybe psychedelics will be used sprinkled interspersed in there too to just spice things up a bit and that can also be very powerful so we'll see how that goes mostly I'm mostly just interested in increasing my baseline level of consciousness at this point so the psychedelics aren't that central to me anymore I've gotten a lot of value from them and I still will do psychedelics in the future and also get a much value from them I always get value from them when I do them but for me it's really about the practices and really cranking up my baseline level of consciousness so that's what I'll be doing I thought about shooting videos but I probably won't as far as vlogging during my retreat because I just want to focus on going inwards so I will not be doing any vlogging videos I don't think unless some huge breakthrough happens and in which case maybe I'll do one or two spontaneous ones but what I will do is at the very end of course after I complete my retreat I will gather up all my conclusions and insights and breakthroughs and those I will share with you and in sort of one video explaining how everything went and what I learned and maybe how you could learn from my own experiences so that's how it's gonna go I'm gonna be preparing all of my own food I will be driving to the grocery store of course because I didn't stock up on 30 days worth of groceries that's way too difficult to do so yeah I will be driving to the grocery store and shopping but even when I do that when I'm in the car when I'm shopping for a groceries I will still be meditating I will still be maintaining mindfulness and so that's how that's going to work let's see what else yeah I'm really excited actually about this this next 30 days it's both simultaneously exciting but also intimidating because I know there's gonna be a lot of suffering ahead but I also know there's gonna be a lot of amazing insights and breakthroughs even if I don't have some massive awakening there will still be more minor breakthroughs and insights that are still very profound those 15 days that I did in May like really some of the biggest growth that I got in years and so I anticipate that this this here is gonna be very powerful for me and part of it is just because I feel like everything's been culminating to this point all of my practices it also feels like I'm overdue for some new awakening experiences and that's very exciting and also just I feel like at the I'm at the point motivationally and emotionally now where it feels like I really am ready to get like really serious about embodying spirituality on a daily basis mmm to really get rid of a lot of the ego deconstruct a lot of the ego and I'm also feeling like I'm sort of at the end of a certain chapter in my life cuz I've been doing actualize that work for five years and it feels like in a certain sense is getting a little bit stale I feel like I sort of overcome many of the initial obstacles that came with starting this business starting this channel getting subscribers releasing content that I like releasing enough content that there is there that there's enough of it there that it gives you a comprehensive view of of spirituality and personal development and so it feels like you know I'm getting to the end and that something new needs to come to really engage me next and that's always been the case in my life is I do something I get involved in some kind of project or some kind of endeavor whether it's improving my health or going to the gym or doing pickup or starting a business or starting actualize I don't work something like this and it lasts for a few years actually actually actualize that Oracle had been one of the longest projects that I've ever done five years that's quite a long time but then there's sort of a natural closing and you need to know when to close a certain chapter in your life and move on to the next thing and then you know the next chapter opens up and that becomes some new exciting thing so now don't get me wrong I'm not saying that I'm leaving actualize that Organa this is it what I'm saying is there's going to be sort of a rebirth a renaissance of actualize that org so what I'm sort of hoping to happen I guess the ideal scenario would be that I do these 30 days I have amazing breakthroughs experience the awakenings and so forth and really what I'm looking for is a is a radical stepping up in my level of consciousness and development and kind of moving on to the next stage of my life the next chapter and the next chapter is going to be a more spiritual chapter then this chapter was because really this chapter that I've been working on was the business chapter it was the life purpose chapter it wasn't it wasn't the enlightenment chapter now I really need to go to the next chapter and finally open up the enlightenment chapter and of course that doesn't mean that I leave actualize at org the idea is always that I want to evolve and bring you guys along with me and bring my content up with me as I do this and maybe also changing the format of my content may be doing more teaching in person rather than through videos I may be doing a tour around the country or maybe working on a book so you know there's there's multiple different avenues that I could pursue and at this point I'm still not sure which way to go I want to kind of let it unfold organically and let it be driven by the insights and developments that I have over the next 30 days so that's that's the idea I'm still very excited about teaching and sharing content and I have you know have I run out of ideas for new videos no I have at least a hundred and fifty outlines already in the works for videos so it's a hundred and fifty separate video topics the way I work on new content nowadays is that I've sort of developed a new system where before I would work on one outline at a time I would you know brainstorm various ideas and insights for one particular topic now what I do is now I am simultaneously sort of just like working a little bit on 150 different outlines at once and it's sort of this multi threaded approach and it actually works a lot better for the way that my brain and my mind worked is that I'm constantly thinking of a million different things at once always interconnecting everything so it's it's very nonlinear and so what I do is I just every time I get some new idea for some particular topic I kind of just jot it down into one of my outlines for some particular topic and I keep adding to it and adding to it and adding to it but this takes time this takes months sometimes you know certain certain outlines that I'm creating take months to create some of them have been in the work for years literally years and I'm just kind of waiting for my mind to to gel more stuff on that topic and to really get some juicy insights and then to interconnect it with with stuff that I'm releasing and then so the benefit of doing this way is that I can interconnect all these different 150 topics in an interesting way and it gives you much more of a bigger picture perspective so there's there's a lot of stuff to talk about and it's not just going to be a rehashing of non-duality or enlightenment there's completely new topics that I haven't talked about ever before and some of the most practical stuff that you'll hear me talking about is yet to come so there's a ton of stuff and I'm constantly excited I haven't lost my motivation to teach this stuff or to do these outlines or videos it's just that I'm the one thing that I learned about myself is that in order to be engaged with life I always need some amount of newness I'm always searching for it for new ways of doing stuff I can't just like keep doing the same thing over and over and over again even if it's successful like some people they can just like maybe start a business and then their business is succeeding and they just can't like keep selling I don't know whatever they're selling let's say they're selling vacuum cleaners and so they just kind of keep selling and selling vacuum cleaners like over and over again for like year after year after year for 40 years I can't do that right for me the whole point of my life and the whole point of my work is to constantly be innovating it has to be new I can't be just rehashing stuff that other teachers have said and talked about like know what needs to happen is like I need to I need to use my time in order to advance the cutting edge of spirituality and personal development and science and philosophy that's what my life is about and so that's a very very different thing from just teaching standard material right so like there's two different types of teachers you might say there's the kind of teacher like maybe you might imagine your 5th grade math teacher your 5th grade math teacher has spent 40 years teaching the exact same set of math equations and math formulas and math teachings at the 5th grade level like for 40 years and like he's happy doing that I would never be happy doing that for me I always have to be teaching something new and to be teaching something new I always have to be researching and actually experi minting with this stuff and it's not enough for me just to like read a new book because I read new books all the time anyways so it's not that's not the issue I'm always reading new books but it's like I have to actually discover new stuff and I'm not just interested in discovering new stuff that others have discovered I'm actually interested in discovering new stuff that no one has ever discovered and believe it or not there's plenty of stuff within spirituality that no one has yet discovered and articulated via writing or via speech or via video that's how deep this stuff is the stuff is very deep very broad and it's not just about discovering new stuff but it's also about interconnecting stuff and modernizing stuff bringing it into the modern era so with spirituality you might say well Leo but the Buddha the Buddhist scriptures you know they're so voluminous they have all the teachings you could possibly want what more could you want well that's not true yes the Buddhist scriptures contain a lot of amazing insights and they may even have all the stuff you need to know if you're talking about meditation only but I'm interested in a lot more than just meditation or enlightenment or non duality I'm interested in how do you interconnect that with neuroscience with the cutting edge field of psychedelics and the new research that's being done there with addiction recovery with psychotherapy leading cutting edge discoveries within psychotherapy cognitive behavioral science within sociology within politics with an evolutionary theory right so I'm interconnected spiritual insights with cutting edge scientific insights so you might think well Leo you're not scientific at all actually no I'm very much pro science even though I rant against science a lot I'm actually very much pro science what I rant against within science is the corruption the unscientific portions of science that's what I rant against so my whole thing is making science more scientific and then integrating spirituality psychology philosophy science all of it together but also not just that but also politics and understanding how government works understanding how to build societies at how to be better leaders so to me all of this combining it with new technology various kinds of brain trading machines and slight cutting-edge psychedelics and research chemicals and whatever else is out there there's all sorts of exciting technology that's that's gonna be coming online in the next 50 years and it's gonna improve your ability to meditate to understand how the brain works to diagnose diseases and problems so you know it's not enough to just have a fixed set of teachings for how to become enlightened that's not enough for humanity to do what it needs to do and even for you individually to live the kind of life that you want to live that's not enough there's so much more to life than just non-duality there's so much more to life than you'll discover if you read all of the Buddhist scriptures or even if you study all the spiritual traditions from the past that's not gonna cut it because society technology humanity is constantly evolving it's changing we're having to deal with new challenges stuff is getting more complex and that's why spirituality is a constantly growing and evolving thing it never stops more and more needs to be integrated and interconnected and this will keep going for thousands of years more so you know don't think that we're like at the end of anything here we're really just at the beginning Humanity is just the beginning we're just starting to awaken we're just starting to see the first rays of light from a long period of being stuck in the dark ages and we still are in the dark ages but we're starting to see a few rays of light but then we do a lot of work to really to spread that light throughout all of society that work isn't just physical it isn't just technological it's also intellectual in fact first and foremost its intellectual before we can lay the mental infrastructure like the actual roads and bridges and fiber-optic cables which are going to interconnect the whole world we first need an intellectual revolution we intellectual frameworks and foundations and don't you think for a second that because you become enlightened and now you're in some state where you're not thinking a lot you're out of your mind so to speak that somehow that now none of these problems that I'm talking about that there are real problems and that and that what I'm talking about is just mental masturbation or monkey mind no no no no no there needs to be serious serious intellectual framework and infrastructure built for all of mankind to be able to awaken that's very very important and that's what actualize it really is it's a lot of theory it's a lot of concepts and you should never confuse that with absolute truth or with Awakening itself but it's this theory it's the frameworks that are necessary in order for people to be able to study spirituality properly in a holistic integrated manner and also to develop themselves to understand spiral dynamics and the different developmental stages that exist to understand the shadow and various problems that exist there to think about how their spirituality is going to interconnect with their career with their health with their life purpose with their political positions with technology new technology that's emerging how we need to transform various institutions within society like education universities government corporations and so forth so there's there's an enormous amount of intellectual work that needs to be done here more than I will be able to do in my lifetime I will die before I finish doing all this even if I live to be a hundred years old so really I mean we need thousands of people doing this work laying these intellectual foundations in the same way that the current era that we're in the sort of materialistic air that we're in the scientific age of reason the Information Age that were in right now the corporate business age that we're in right now really the foundation for that was laid during the French Revolution in Europe the European enlightenment which should not be confused with non-dual enlightenment the European enlightenment with figures like Voltaire and Rousseau and David Hume and John Locke you know many many of these intellectuals and philosophers they laid the foundation for modern liberal capitalist democracy which you see in Britain and Western Europe in America and has been spreading more and more throughout the world these were intellectual philosophical foundations that were laid first you know many kings and monarchs and tyrants were overthrown which led to the modern age and so those ideas are starting to run their course now in a new set of ideas we need to have new enlightenment the real enlightenment and we need to when in we need a scientific enlightenment we need a philosophical enlightenment we really need to transform how philosophy is taught we need an Enlightenment of our education system we didn't enlightenment of our political system we knew new forms of government beyond capitalism and beyond standard Marxism Marxism is quite outdated right so we need new stuff the problem is that when people study spirituality they get they get stuck they get stuck thinking like oh well Blio you know I'm reading my Buddhist scriptures and that's good enough for me or I'm just gonna follow the course in mirror and I'm just gonna like go through there abc123 connect-the-dots formula and nomina and that's going to be it we're gonna be good after that no these are very narrow approaches there's nothing wrong with any of these per se but they're just individual tools and really what we need is we need a much more broad framework very few spiritual teachers or schools at this point right now in the 21st century take an integral holistic approach to spirituality and human development very very very few maybe there's one or two exceptions but they're they're certainly not known by almost anybody they're very niche not very mainstream the stuff that's mainstream is stuff that's basically thousands of years old or hundreds of years old and people are following it like sheep they're not thinking independently one of the things that blows my mind the most is when I when I really look at the world and I see what's going on with people in the world is that I look at it and even those people who are supposedly doing spirituality and consciousness work the Buddhists the Yogi's the Hindus I look at it and it's still so barbaric and it's still so short-sighted and it's still so little picture and there's still so much stuff that's missing and it's not interconnected and it's not cutting edge it's just not cutting edge stuff it's at least hundreds of years old if not thousands of years old it doesn't integrate modern for example insights from psychology and psychotherapy modern insights that we're learning from psychedelics and most of the stuff most the obstacles you're going to run across when you're doing spirituality he's not going to be spiritual stuff it's mostly going to be psychological baggage that comes up that needs to be processed but a lot of these ancient spiritual traditions because they were developed long before there was an official research field called psychology or sociology or anthropology or any of these kinds of ologies these human sciences you know these human signs are just 100 years old oftentimes even less than that so so many spiritual schools just are completely ignorant of this and then what's worse is that they justify to themselves to say alia well we don't really need psychology or sociology or anthropology and supposedly when you're totally enlightened you figured out everything of course this is total ignorance that's not how it works because there's much more to it than just enlightenment it's about figuring out how to live your life there are amazing insights and techniques that have been developed over the last 50 years just within the modern self-help movement I'm just talking about very simple stuff material stuff like the Tony Robbins style teachings Jim Rome Rohn style teachings there's a lot that many of you still need to learn from that and really what needs to happen is that we need to integrate non-duality all the spiritual traditions and religions across the entire globe including the Hindus the Buddhists the Christians the Muslims the Aztecs and all that the Jew the Jews and everything is so integrate all that with non-duality plus with science with physics and with evolution plus with all the social sciences like anthropology sociology psychology plus with philosophy plus with technology plus with political science what else am I forgetting there's probably more but at the very least we need to integrate all of those oh well also of course very importantly with personal with self-help basically with Tony Robbins style self-help and now when we integrate all of that now we're really starting to get something see so that's sort of my vision of what I'm trying to accomplish here of course we also need to reform massively reform science the foundations of science the the metaphysical and epidemiological foundations of science need to need to be completely reformed and of course we need to reform our entire culture as well and of course we need to we need to change our entire nutritional system needs to change our entire educational system needs to change so all of this you know and probably more than I that's still not coming to mind there's so much a bit one of my biggest problems is that there's so much stuff here to integrate that I can't keep it all in my memory banks it's too much you know you got to have thousands of pages of notes to interconnect all this stuff it's quite challenging it's it's way more challenging than just sitting on a cushion and becoming woke which is not to say that that's bad you should definitely do that you should definitely sit on a cushion you just become woke which is what I'll be doing over the next 30 days is just doing that but there's also then a lot of work to be done integrating all this stuff together developing more sophisticated systems and not sophisticated and says that they're more complex it's not about complexity per se it's not about mental masturbation just develop ugh developing a bunch of knowledge per se it really all these things really are necessary if you really want a large chunk of mankind to wake up it is not going to happen simply by spreading Buddhism across the world or Christianity across the world or even neo-advaita across the world or Eckhart Tolle lays teachings across the world that's not going to do it that's still far too limited if you really want all of mankind wake up if you want all mankind to wake up you gotta you gotta throw everything and the kitchen sink at this problem including psychedelics technology you got to reform the political system the education so everything I mentioned previously you got to bring all that in you got to reform corporate culture you got to reform nutrition like everything has to change so this is a very massive C massive project so this project doesn't really end but for me to really be able to to do this to contribute significantly to this project first and foremost I have to start with myself you see it's very tempting to go out there and try to change the world without first having conquered yourself worked on yourself really developed a strong connection with Toyota develop a really strong tail utilized heart really purified yourself and really also spent a lot of time doing research and interconnecting all this stuff because one thing that the ancient sages and masters got really well was that they mastered themselves internally they were pretty good at doing that through yoga and meditation and so forth but what they weren't so good at is they weren't so good at then integrating all of that with various kinds of intellectual frameworks that are necessary to shape intellectual tradition and culture as a whole you see they kind of siloed themselves spiritual people became monks and Yogi's they isolated themselves into monasteries and caves sure they developed sophisticated assistance of spiritual teaching and sure they spread their message across to millions and even billions of people in the end but still they separated themselves too much from government from politics from science from mmm philosophy and other kinds of intellectual research you see and that creates sort of fracturing or schism and so there's a lot of work to be done to stitch all those together to break apart those silos if you really want this stuff to go mainstream the way that of course it will inevitably go so what I'm talking about here is I'm talking about the wave of the future of human development and the development of society government education nutrition philosophy science all of this is to me I think of it all as all one giant just movement forward advancing forward it's really just one arc of evolution that's happening with humanity and so to be right on that cutting edge in this very holistic and integrated way that's something quite new very few people have done that ken Wilber is one pioneer within this field but even Ken Wilber really doesn't there's there's still more like for example Ken Wilber doesn't integrate psychedelics because he's never done them himself which is a shame because I think his work would benefit a lot from that now of course he's done a lot of integrating already so I can't really blame the guy he's he's done a massive amount of integration so I'm really grateful for his work it's amazing but it doesn't stop we need to take it and build upon it and go further and deeper and broader all at the same time and we need to make it more mainstream so that other people know about it so it's not just for nerds or for academics and so yeah so it's very tempting for me to go and run off and do all that while neglecting my own inner development and so again I have to strike a very delicate balance between the external work that I do and the internal work that I do and so um for those of you who have Lala a sense of life purpose and who are ambitious and want to change the world that's great and those of you who want to help mankind to awaken that's all great I just want to caution you here to be very very careful because a lot of people have fallen into this trap is that they go about doing that while neglecting their own inner development you can only lead people to Asshai a place as you yourself have reached and no higher so if your ultimate vision is to lead people to very high places you need to be able to first lead yourself to those very high places and as your leading lots of people thousands and millions of people and you're trying to have this big impact on culture and on society and on science and on politics on government on all the stuff you've got to be extremely careful because the more influence you have the more the devil in you will want to co-opt you and the truth within you to serve the devil's purposes you see this is natural this is totally inevitable so the more power and status you acquire the more careful you have to be about all of your base materialistic desires and how easily corrupted you are by the devil how much do you lost after sex food power status fame all these sorts of things these sorts of things if you don't gain consciousness over them they will corrupt you and make you a vehicle of the devil's bidding and even though you be teaching spirituality and you might think you're having a good effect really what's gonna happen is you're gonna build an organization which is going to become a cult which is going to become the next Christianity the next Catholic Church the next Buddhist Dogma you know the next dogmatic yogic system which is not going to be flexible enough and integral enough to really accomplish the ultimate aim that Te'o is shooting for which is a total of integration a total integration of everything a total self understanding that's what Toyota wants and that's what Toyota results have been going to get but that's a very long-term vision you know that'll take millennia to accomplish all that in the short-term though there's gonna be a lot of hiccups a lot of obstacles a lot of dead ends and a lot of disasters that will befall us because people who do this work will not have sufficiently purified their own hearts and therefore they will mislead others and they will fall into temptation and wickedness and sin and depravity and they will mislead their followers into doing the same so I'm very mindful about not doing that myself so I have to work on the the devil within me before I can really actualize some of these big plans that I have going forward like one of the things I've also been struggling with is with my own health in the last few months I had the sinus infection which I'm still working on I have some energy problems and chronic fatigue problems because of my hypothyroid condition and so I've been I've been I've been looking for ways to increase my health naturally because you know I've gone to doctors I've tried various things and nothing seems to really work especially none of the traditional Western doctors so um like just in the last month I've been starting to eat a lot more healthy and starting to take detoxing my body varies seriously and I'll be doing that basically over the next year because I can tell that for me to be able to accomplish this big vision that I have one of the things that's going to hold me back is just that I don't have enough energy to do it physical and mental energy to do it unless I eat very cleanly and that requires for example making sacrifices I have to sacrifice my favorite foods and never eat them again in my entire life and eat various kinds of nasty vegetables and stuff drinking various kinds of nasty juices and you know saying no to that for the greater good you know serving this mission so and improving my health improving my immune system so you know when you have a big vision what you'll find is required is making sacrifices for it and the way that you make these difficult sacrifices that you make your vision so much more powerful than anything that you're giving up that giving it up no longer seems like a big problem you're happy to give it up because your vision of what you're going to get in return for it is so huge see and that's what the hero's journey is all about it's about making sacrifices for some greater good and actually that's what makes you feel the best in life is when you're on the edge you're pursuing something new something really worthwhile something that would push mankind forward and then to do that you realize that you need to become a much better human being in the same way that you know people have children and I'm not speaking from experience here but I can just imagine it that the moment you have a child in a certain sense your whole life changes on that day because now you have a whole new set of responsibilities and in a certain sense that child within you has to die because you have a real child to take care of so your childish ego you know you can't keep your childish ego and also do what's necessary for your child you have to make sacrifices on behalf of your child you have to be more responsible you have to quit doing stupid stuff the way you used to do when you were younger you have to grow up but also at the same time like you look into the face of your newborn baby child and you realize that it's worth it for her or for him um because you know that's something amazing to you that's a miracle that's worth it to you so it's just like that with with anything that the hero is doing it's just like that if you're starting some new business or you're trying to awaken the world or you're leading a political movement or whatever you have to make sacrifices for it and you're gonna have to surrender yourself because you yourself are your own greatest obstacle you yourself are getting in the way have you noticed how many great politicians have ruined their careers by getting in their own way like one that comes to mind to me is for example John Edwards a few election cycles ago John Edwards seemed like a nice politician he was like on his way up he could have even become president or vice president quite easily but then you know he screwed it all up because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants destroyed his entire career because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants or Anthony Weiner another politician from from New York you know he also seemed like a very kind of up-and-coming energetic charismatic leader and he had some you know progressive ideas for New York City and he wanted to become was a senator or I don't know what he was running for but again he couldn't keep his dick in his pants and he just screwed it up you see he could have had an amazing career where he could have like transformed millions of lives changed New York maybe he could have been become president you know really made a big impact on the world really helped mankind but he couldn't keep his dick in his pants and now he just got out of prison spent a whole year in prison for texting with a with a minor you know it's that kind of stupid stuff that just derails your whole life derails your your biggest vision so you have to be very careful whatever your vision is whether it's starting a business or awakening the world watch out because the devil is still within you you haven't purified the devil out of you yet and so that devil will tempt you with all sorts of selfishness basically you yourself will get in your own way and sabotage yourself so how do you prevent that by doing these sorts of retreats that I'm about to do by really going inwards facing your own self being really honest with your own limitations and problems your own wickedness really look at it come with come come face to face with it suffer face suffering these retreats if you ever do one of these retreats it'll be the most suffering you've ever done in your life but the difference will be that it will be conscious suffering whereas most of your life what you do is you do unconscious suffering and we need to unconscious suffer you don't learn anything you don't grow when you suffer consciously that's when you really grow and you know as you become more successful more famous more prestigious you have more status this is actually very necessary these kinds of retreats because these retreats make you humble the suffering makes you humble otherwise you can get a position in life where you become too comfortable it becomes too easy you're too famous people kiss your ass too much people agree with you too much you feel like you've built this comfy nest for yourself so now it's like you know you have a bunch of money you have a bunch of sack so you have a bunch of you have a house you have two houses you have a car you have a family everything's taken care of and you know you have a big business and it's all successful and now you know you get too comfortable and you forget what it's like at the bottom you forget what it's like to suffer that disconnects you from other humans around you because other humans around you are suffering you know when you are in such a nice cushy position for yourself in life after a few years of that you forget that suffering even exists anymore and then you spend the rest of your life chasing pleasure and titillation and also avoiding suffering and then it gets so bad that you could you know resort to all sorts of really dysfunctional pathological behavior just to avoid a little bit of discomfort and suffering in your life and then of course that pathological behavior just snowballs and eventually it explodes into a giant supernova of suffering and then and then them and then things go bad for you but this suffering that you do when you're avoiding suffering that's unconcious suffering and so you don't grow from it so really what you need to do in life is you need to deliberately put yourself into challenging situations where you suffer consciously now that doesn't mean that you you know you cut your arms with a razor blade in some sort of dysfunctional teenage fashion it doesn't mean that you that you inflict pain on yourself unnecessarily what it means is that you just do the things no need to be done that's really all you need to do if you're doing the things that you know need to be done that are for the greater good don't worry plenty of suffering will come your way from doing that you'll have to face many fears and you'll have to face your own inadequacies and in capacities and limitations you know like for example when I do one of these retreats for 30 days and I tell you guys that I'm gonna do for 30 days and then I only last 15 days and I fail you know that gives me a lot of suffering because I know that I you know I I broke my own word and I broke my word to you so you know that kind of suffering that's a good kind of suffering because that keeps me honest whereas if I wanted to you know I could just like I could go buy a million dollar house on some tropical island and just live there surround myself with beautiful women you know go through some new hot woman every month and just rake in more and more money you know start some big advertising campaign sucker in a bunch of newbies earn a bunch of money sell them a bunch of cheap self-help products or whatever and just become rich and fat and lazy on my tropical island living in my million dollar house you know thought I could do that but eventually that would explode into a supernova of terrible suffering and and also if I did that and I wouldn't be able to really get the higher level fulfillment that I would get if I executed on my hero's journey and I did the stuff that I know toyota wants done see Toyota wants certain things done and so your job in this life is to make yourself a vessel a vehicle for Toyota's work and the best of Nestle's four tails work are those that are fully purified of their own egotism so they're not getting in their own way so that a yodel can work through you like a superconductor remember that analogy that idea I talked about in the past you want to become a superconductor for the energy of Toyota to work through you and that's how you have the most fulfilling most beautiful life is if you can do that but what you have to realize is that that is not an easy thing that's not an easy thing to do you will suffer for it but the consolation is that it's going to be a good kind of suffering not the bad kind of suffering that you get by avoiding things you need to do it's the good kind of suffering and not only will you get the good kind of suffering but you will also get an enormous pleasure and ecstasy and I feel a feeling of fulfillment and profound profundity that you would never otherwise get if you just chose the easy life so this is not the easy life we're talking about doing Toyota's work is not the easy life what do I mean by this what's an example of this Gandhi is a great example of this and I'm not saying Gandhi didn't have his problems I'm sure Gandhi had many problems but what I'm saying is that overall if you look at the arc of Gandhi's life and what Gandhi was doing and if you don't know what Gandhi was doing you should go read and read his biography I'll read biographies about him it's very inspiring um but this is what Gandhi was basically doing and he really walked his talk really walked his talk he made a lot of sacrifices you know he was jailed he was beaten he was near killed many times and eventually he was killed that's right because transformative people who really wanted to advent advanced the cutting edge of society and who really want to make a big splash in the world a lot of them end up getting killed because there's a collective ego backlash against them very understandable you know who killed Gandhi by the way Gandhi was killed by a Hindu nationalist not by a Muslim but by Hindu nationalists because India and Pakistan at that time they separated when India was gaining its independence this was like in the in the early 20th century so it was all under British colonial rule Gandhi's whole mission was to gain Indian independence he accomplished that but as soon as that account was accomplished because India has a lot of Muslims and Hindus in it that quickly became the problem of well is our government gonna be a Hindu government or a Muslim government and so they couldn't agree about that so they basically created two states they created India and Pakistan India was the Hindu government and Pakistan was the Muslim Ron government and and Gandhi was basically in agreement with this he was for sort of a two-state solution but he was assassinated by a Hindu nationalist because that nationalist perceived Gandhi as being a traitor to Hinduism because he wanted even the Muslims to be basically under the yoke of Hinduism you see so so this shows you you know people love to hate and people love to hate especially those who are most tolerant and who are most loving so that's just a little tangent inside there but the point here being is that um they're definitely sacrifices to living this kind of hero's journey life but at the same time it's the most rewarding because you're engaged with life the most miserable life is when you're just working at Starbucks your whole life and that's all you do and there's like no future prospects for you your job is just like making people's coffee which is gonna make no impact on the world in fact even worse here your addicting people to coffee and just fattening them up with sugar destroying their health and then you're depressed and miserable and you just live a very mediocre life right because you chose you were bored of this world and at some point in your life you chose to just kind of phone it in and be a hack in life and not to do anything amazing enough to do anything important and not to make yourself a vehicle of Toyota you see Toyota doesn't want you to be standing in a Starbucks pouring coffee for 40 years straight that's not what Toyota wants that's what you became because you have refused Toyota's call and of course most people don't even know what a ol is or that there is such a possibility of a call so that's mostly why they get sucked into something like that they don't know any better but you because you're listening to me and you should know better because we've talked about this stuff a lot and go check out my episode called the highest hero's journey where I talk about that and also check out my life purpose course which is all about that so anyways I've gone on too long here hopefully this gives you a little idea of what I'm doing what my vision is for the future and now it's time for me to begin the inner work and I'll report to you how that goes the good the bad and the ugly and fear not because there's still more videos to come actual eyes that rook is not over I will be back soon you